It’s official. PEI’s got hookers. My best friend & I were taking a cruise around the metropolis of Charlottetown early last night after her ex-husband picked up the kids for the weekend. It was pretty quiet around town for a Friday night – the summer tourist season’s not in full swing yet, so alot of the tourist spots in the downtown core either aren’t open or are still on reduced hours. She was commenting on how the slower pace of life is what drew her to the island as a girl and kept her here as an adult.
Just when we thought we had seen everything there was to see (our big excitement was a trip to the drugstore and the supermarket), we happened upon one of PEI’s famous hookers at her usual corner near the Charlottetown hotel. As we were driving by I read Darlene’s new shirt and I told my best friend she’d better go ‘round the block again because I needed a picture of it. My friend commented that she’s been shaving her head for the last couple of years. Darlene lives in a group home and is a common face around town. I’ve often had conversations with her outside Shoppers Drug Mart where she tries to hawk her wares. So she didn’t need to explain the t-shirt to me. I knew exactly what it meant. Although she felt compelled to explain the double meaning of her new attire since she probably didn’t remember me. With quite a few choice 4-letter words thrown in for good measure, for sure (I’ve left them out here) she told me, “I’m a hooker. You know….” And she started clicking her fingers together making the needle motions. “I KNOW, Darlene, you’re not THAT kind of hooker”. As if it would have crossed my mind!!!
She tells us she’s going in the upcoming natal day parade. And she’ll be wearing her new t-shirt for the occasion. I suggested that she consider hooking herself a wig, put some hair extensions in it, you know, display her wares. She thought it was a good idea, hadn’t ever thought of THAT before, and was pondering what she could build it onto. I’m NOT a hooker, so the only thing I could think of was a hairnet. She says it probably won’t be strong enough. I think you probably need burlap. But we’ll be looking out for Darlene at the natal day parade, wondering until then if she’s come up with a new addition to her “catsuit”.
If you were thinking sexual tourism when you come to PEI, you’d better think again. But if you’re looking for some nice traditional crafts for your home, you’ve found the right spot. For more on hookers in PEI: